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Sunday, April 13, 2008

Draft # 2

The Little Apple in Vegas


As I neared the towering buildings that dominated the sky I thought to my self,"It may not be the real thing but its close enough". As I got closer my heart started pounding harder. I could almost smell and feel the New England harbors. The tall lady in green standing boldly on her pedestal. As I approached the buildings, They were starting to block out the sun then... I thought,There I was. In front of a New York look alike hotel in the middle of Vegas with the Nevada dessert pounding me.

As I looked at the darkness luring me to come in, I heard screaming. I look up in curiosity, thinking someone jumped, but luckily that wasn't the case. There had been a roller coaster that had swirled around the skyscrapers. I thought there was going to be a burst of gambling, Spectacular shows and lights as bright as times square. Instead behind that door was a hall way. It felt like a normal business building. The only thing Exotic there was a Zumanity sign.

"Don't even think about it" My mom said as she stared at me with one eyebrow up.

"Relax I would never see that show. Besides I'm to young to see it." I sarcastically said as we walked down the hall.

As I strolled across the hall way I look out the window to see a picture perfect view of lady liberty facing the strip.As we got closer I began to hear a familiar sound of gambling. The closer I got the louder it got. My heart was beating so hard that it felt like I would vomit it out. As I stoke my hand out to grab the handle, a shock wave of reality spread through my body thinking "Behind this door is a whole other world". Then I opened the door.

I opened the door to something I could hardly describe. It looked like a mini New York New York suburb. From where I stood I could see Central park and allot of slot machines. My mother and father had to decide who would watch me first while the other stayed to gamble for useless causes. As I looked around I saw people checking in to thousand dollars a night rooms, bell hoops everywhere, then In the back of me was the largest picture ever of 1930's New York i had ever. By the time I had finish pandering around It had been decided that my dad was to watch me first.

"Where do you want to go first?" he asked grouchy. I simply replied by pointing at a tiny town in the distance. I couldn't see the details until we got there. It turned out to be a mini new york suburb, with neon signs on roofs and a stone road. We walked to the heart of the town, which was Starbucks. The houses were actually stores and the detail in each building was extremely beautiful. Most of the building were two to three story's tall. Every building seemed to have a unique touch to it. When I was looking around I found a secret area.It looked like a french or Italian cafe.

"Wow" was all I could say as I looked in amazement. The one I found was surrounded by high walls with beautiful paintings inside. There was a special beam of light that made it look majestic. You could smell the aroma of pizza walking down the pebble road with rows of town houses with street names like wall street, Oh ya, Wall street was a Giant slot machine! We went to the other side to see something I definitely did not expect. There was a giant ESPN station with a whole bunch of couch potatoes on red couches that looked like movie couches for Bill Gates. There was a giant movie theatre size T.V. with three exceptionally large T.V.s beside it. It was like a movie theatre only showing sports.

"Do you think theres an observatory on the Empire State Building"? I asked with a sound of hopefulness will squinting my eyes.

"Lets go find out" he said will walking towards the front desk. We asked but sadly there was none so instead we went to the arcade called Carny island. As I walked the stairs with anticipation I noticed that it was quit. Really quiet. I had noticed that no one had walked to Carny Island.

"Its quiet,...to quiet". I said trying to sound like some secret spy. When I got there I expected to see a whole bunch of people but instead it was quit and lonely.We walked past the roller coaster that coast around $15. It was as if I was the last person on earth. We walked past a couple of people until " hold my keys", my dad said. Please don't embarrass me I kept saying in my mind. Then all the sudden he started break dancing and all I could do was drop my jaw in amazement. A couple other people were watching while he started spinning. As soon as he got up I started walking way.

We went back down to the bridge to wait for my mom. And there we saw a mammoth of a a machine, It was probably tall because the empire state building was on top of it. Immediately my dad went for it since it was right next to the bridge. I would of looked into the water below if there was water. there was only hundred of coins where the water had once been. When my mom came we went back to the town.

"Steki" was all she could say, steki means beautiful in Japanese. We just drank Starbucks sitting down trying not to look like tourist.

When we got back it was time to leave sadly.

"Do we have to go back to boring old San Diego" I complained as We walked down the same hall way with Zumanity. I got back in the car and got prepared for a long trip back to S.D.

5 comments:

arian said...

wow yuki you wrote alot and you have a cool back round

Mr. Talner said...

Killer lead. Strong vocabulary too! You have included many of the techniques taught in class. Well done. Use italics for thoughts. che ck your spelling and there is a couple vocab words that dont work.
Is there any of this you could trim? It is a bit long.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Mr Talner good lead and you did write a lot and member to use italics. Also you should try to get rid of some parts that you don't need. but you did good I give you 41/2 stars.

Caryl Velas said...

Whoa! You're a great writer Yuki! You have a great use of words. =] The only thing I would suggest is to check you're spelling and trim a little off.

Yuki R. said...

I was bored okay.... sheesh